I don't usually post about brain-dead celebutantes, especially no-talent bimbo/himbo losers who are (in)famous for no good reason, but ever since I heard that Paris Hilton had SIZE 12 FEET, I've been a bit obsessed with actually seeing them.

Feet are the one body part that plastic surgery can't fix (not counting the lopping off of toes to fit into 'fuck me pumps'), so unless you're hardcore into the ancient torture art of Chinese foot-binding, you're stuck with whatever mother nature gave you.

Supposedly she's pretty upset about the size of her feet and gets designer shoes custom made. Of course, she may not be aware of the high-end mail order shoe trade that caters to gentlemen who sometimes are ladies (cross-dressers and transvestites - usually straight men, but everyone needs a hobby), ladies who used to be gentlemen (post-operative transsexuals), and gentlemen who entertain as ladies (drag queens). A friend of mine actually owns such a business, but I digress.

Note her odd stance - not that it's any good at hiding them; then again, where would freaky feet that size hide? I bet the toes are just humungous. And it's not like they're thin/narrow, just look at their rather healthy width. Good grief! It's not like she's 7 feet tall, or Shaq or Thorpedo. I wonder what they say when she goes for a pedicure.

You know, take another gander at that photo: those are pretty big freaking manly hands too. Has anyone checked for an Adam's Apple (or a scar on her throat)? Maybe there was 'ambiguous genatilia' when she was born and the doctors advised her parents to do the snip-and-clip and raise her as a girl, or maybe there was one of those 'unfortunate accidents' one hears about from time to time when a male child gets circumsized.

Gotta wonder what a DNA test might turn up, too many or not enough of the 'right' XY chromosomes, perhaps? And you know, Paris IS a unisex name, after all. Sure makes a person go hmm...

Today at 3:00 pm, I got a breaking news alert from MSNBC; it seems that Jose Padilla found guilty of all three counts in his terrorism trial. What did I get from CNN at 3:08 pm? A breaking news alert that "President Bush's daughter, Jenna, is engaged to be married". Who the fuck cares if that skanky booze-binging, war-avoiding found some dude to marry her money and lame ass? It's not news. CNN's alert about Jose Padilla didn't arrive until 4:00 pm. "The Most Trusted Name in New"? I hardly think so. Wankers.